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Weddings are hugely expensive affairs in Afghanistan, with excessive costs for wedding halls, lavish meals and usually a bride price. It is a contested tradition that is viewed as having no foundation in Islamic law and does not appear in the new draft marriage law. It is also not Married female wanting black male in Ghazni be confused with the dowry mahr which should be given to the bride in case her husband dies or divorces her. Almost all weddings in Afghanistan start with matchmaking.

When the families have agreed to the marriage the real negotiations around the wedding and the bride price start and usually take place at the house of the bride-to-be. However, the negotiations about the bride price can be lengthy. The couple are nowadays often consulted about the marriage proposal, but they have a very limited role in the wedding and Married female wanting black male in Ghazni price negotiations and have to accept what their families decide for detailed information on marriage practices in Married female wanting black male in Ghazni see: The amount is often based on family credentials, education, skills, age, beauty and the reputation of the girl, as well as recent bride prices within the community.

As a consequence, the decision to accept or reject the wedding costs and the bride price becomes a family affair. The price tag for the wedding, especially in Kabul, can easily top 10, USD; a small fortune in a country where the gross domestic product per capita in was Even if the actual wedding costs are Women for fucking in Kunimune in rural areas, the overall costs are pushed up by the bride price.

Social media provides some examples of current bride prices in different provinces see: Not all communities in Nangarhar have a tradition of asking for a bride price.

Loya Paktia Khost, Paktia and Paktika: Bride price is known as walwar in Pashto-speaking areas and toyana and sherbaha in Dari-speaking areas. It is an Afghan tradition with no foundation in Islamic law see: Bride price and mahr are not the same: According to Islamic sharia law, women who enter into a marriage contract are entitled to receive mahr and it is intended to provide security for her and her children in case the husband dies or requests a divorce.

According to Hanafi jurisprudence fiqha wife is allowed to use the mahr in any way she sees fit as it is her property — this means that she can also return it or share it with her husband or their extended family. This is the financial obligation that a husband has to his bride. Community members interviewed by AAN said that mahr Married female wanting black male in Ghazni almost never implemented as Islamic law prescribes, even if people are aware of the law.

In fact, when parents of a bride and groom negotiate wedding arrangements, they often use the word mahr when they are actually talking about the wedding price. The money was paid directly to her brother and after the wedding, when I asked my wife about the mahrshe told me that she did not receive a penny of the[Pakistani] rupees.

Instead, she told me that her brother had used the money to arrange the marriage of his son. The bride price is a huge burden on grooms and their families, but is also a vital source of income for the families of brides, in particular poorer ones. If a father only has daughters and no sons, he will often rely on the bride price as a source of income, as he cannot rely on the income a son would bring.

Getting a high bride price was a major reason given by parents for marrying their girls off young. Other economic Married male looking in Rizhao also counted, including giving girls in lieu of debts and exchanging girls, so that neither family had to pay the bride price. Article 28 of the law on the Elimination of Violence against Women states that those who force girls to marry under the age of 15 Adult fun in Jeremie be imprisoned for at least two years and the same article states that the marriage of an underage girl can be cancelled at the request of the girl.

This is particularly true when the economies of entire families depend on underage marriages. Parents who chose to or are forced to marry off their underage daughters often ignore factors such as the age or any disabilities of the future son-in-law.

Daughters might even get married off to Married female wanting black male in Ghazni whom their families have never seen before. An AREU study on marriage practice in Afghanistan from cited the example of Aziza, a girl in her mid-teens who was married to a 60 years old man.

Therefore I saw no other way out than to marry the old man who was willing to pay the bride price demanded by my family. As a result of the high prices for weddings, hundreds of young men have been forced to go to Iran, Pakistan, or the Gulf countries to find work, often under precarious conditions, to try to earn enough money Married female wanting black male in Ghazni pay for their wedding and the bride price 4.

In summerjust before he was about to return to Afghanistan, he fell from the third floor of a building where he was working. He suffered a broken neck and severe spinal cord injuries and had to spend most of his earned money on medical treatment.

Young men who cannot go abroad to earn money try to find the necessary financial resources within Afghanistan. Most borrow money from relatives; others mortgage or sell land. In many cases, the families of brides are also willing to accept some of the bride price in kind through land titles, houses or cars. InYar Muhammad from Mutakhan district in Married female wanting black male in Ghazni province transferred his 20 jeribs of farmland to his brother-in-law as payment for the negotiated 1, Pakistani rupees 17, US dollars bride price.

Yar Muhammad was left with only a few jeribs of land to use as a source of livelihood. In some cases, the pressure to pay Married female wanting black male in Ghazni bride prices has caused young men to commit suicide see a report of Mehwar Daily published in Decemberhere.

Similarly, depression and other psychological problems, family disputes, suicides and fleeing homes have been reported among those young men and women who Swingers in Estancia not able to get married because they were unable to meet the demands for the bride price see for example: In some cases, the bride price also results in women Married female wanting black male in Ghazni being able to get married.

This is viewed as shameful for the women, as is getting married at an old age. For example, Nasima name changed was 50 years old when she finally married a 60 year old widower in another village of Andar district.

Life was so difficult for her that she said she would agree to marry anyone who asedk her, even if he had disabilities or was an old man. The widower, who married Nasima, had a daughter and three sons from his previous wife.

After a few weeks of marriage, life again became bitter for her. Historical examples of government efforts to regulate wedding costs and prohibit bride price. In the Marriage Law, expenditures for the wedding itself were limited, the mahr was fixed at 30 afghanis at the value from that time period and bride price was prohibited. The law was widely criticised by Islamic scholars who considered these reforms as intervening in their domain and curtailing their powers.

The scholars accused King Amanullah Khan of endorsing laws that Online dating game philippines contrary to Islamic law. Later legal initiatives, including those from, and focused on limiting wedding costs, but without explicitly forbidding bride price.

A law from states that the bride may not demand a bride price, but she can demand mahr. However, the, and laws did prohibit bride price. Incommunist President Nur Muhammad Taraki issued decree number seven, according to which the bride price for a young girl was set at only afghanis roughly an equivalent of 30, Afs now or about USD. The decree, however, was unevenly implemented and, was rejected by more conservative parts of society see here and here.

Others, however, took advantage of the decree: According to 55 year old Khudai Nur in Andar district of Ghazni, the parents who refused were threatened. These developments, related to decree number 7 and the behaviour of officials and government supporters, played an important role in convincing the population to rise up against the communist regime.

The anti-communists, for example, used the decree as one of their propaganda subjects to encourage the population to stand against the communist government see here. Religious leaders at the time said that the decree was un-Islamic because in Islam there is no specific amount of mahr; although a minimum is given, a maximum is not prescribed.

Other examples from that time, however, also showed that communities were not opposed to regulation as long as they were consulted. For example, according to Mawlawi Muhammad Qasam, the head of Horny adult women in Melun tribal shura Married female wanting black male in Ghazni Sar Roza district of Paktika province, an agreement was made by local tribal Married female wanting black male in Ghazni in the post-communist period years ago to set bride price at 10, Afghani.

Such local agreements have also been attempted more recently. According to Mawlwi Muhammad Qasam in Sar Roza district of Paktika, the tribal elders made a new decision in that bride price should Current 100 friends and marriage dating site in puerto rico aroundPakistani rupees 3, US dollars ; this was considered a reasonable amount for the people of the area.

A similar decision had, as noted above, been taken in this district in the s when the elders decided that the bride price should be aroundrupees 1, US dollars. However, bythis agreement was no longer adhered to and bride prices had become as high as 1, rupees 10, USDin addition to other wedding expenses, in some parts of the district.

The agreement included attempts to limit the number of guests to only 20 and to Married female wanting black male in Ghazni clothes for only up to four women. The local communities, particularly the youth and the poor, have welcomed this initiative. Elders in Looking for a white guy in Krk provincial capital, Sharan, as well as in Yusufkhel district of Paktika province decided in January that the exact amount of bride price should beafghanis 3, US dollars.

The tribal elders also suggested limiting the number of wedding guests and reducing expenses. Violators of the rules could be fined by the tribal elders. These rules have been implemented both in the provincial capital Sharan and in the neighbouring district of Yusufkhil, according to Abdul Hai Sahibzada, head of a reform council in the province. It also points out that the Taleban in Tagab district of Kapisa province set the bride price at 3, US dollars.

While these measures appear to have been successful attempts to reduce the bride price, they did not spread to other districts or provinces in the north or east. In Andar district of Ghazni, on 23 Augustthere was another initiative: Overall, Married female wanting black male in Ghazni declaration stressed that both sides were not allowed to incur huge expenses. Based on the declaration, if anyone violated these rules, there would Married female wanting black male in Ghazni a fine ofafghanis about 2, US dollars.

At the same time, in the western area of Andar, the local Taleban fighters supported the implementation of the reduced bride price andalso played a role in convincing the tribal elders to set the rules. Positive effects of these local initiatives to regulate wedding costs and bride price were reported to AAN.

For example, Sahibzada, the head of a reform council in south-eastern Paktika, explained that the tribal agreement he had been part of deciding on had resulted in a major rise in the number of weddings in the district from a few to a hundred weddings a year. He said that now there were fewer unmarried young men and women, and fewer young men had to go abroad to earn money Married female wanting black male in Ghazni order to get married. The reduction of the bride price, however, had unintended negative consequences.

Based on interviews with local residents in Khost province, the reduction in the bride price toafghanis about 3, US dollarsin the Lakani area of the provincial capital, resulted in people Married female wanting black male in Ghazni to Lakani from other parts of the province in order to find local girls that they could marry to their sons for a lower bride price. Although unwilling to abandon the reduced bride price altogether, it was unacceptable to the Lakani people that outsiders were Phone conversation topics dating advantage of the situation.

When the initiative to reduce bride price found its way to Ghazni province, people in Qarabagh district initially welcomed it, and also decided to set a standard lower bride price. However, in Andar district, the idea was challenged first by local mullahs and then by tribal elders. For example, when people in late and early came Married female wanting black male in Ghazni in western Andar district and decided to set the bride price atafghanis about 5, US dollarstwo famous mullahs, one from Alizai village and another from Shado village, resisted.

They told the community that the reduction of bride price was a violation of the rights of the woman to be married.

Interestingly, one theory was that these mullahs resisted the new rules because they themselves have many daughters and a few sons, which means if the bride price were reduced they would be able to earn less money. When the first mullah, from Alizai, resisted the new bride price policy the Taleban visited him and thereafter he no longer resisted. However, the Taleban reportedly did not approach the mullah from Shado village. While these attempts clearly indicate that communities are interested in some form of regulation to reduce and possibly even in the long-term abolish the bride price, the implementation, in particular in conservative communities, seems to hamper these efforts.

Wedding costs and especially bride price are deeply rooted Married female wanting black male in Ghazni in Afghan society, and bride price, in particular, has important economic consequences for the families of the bride and the groom.

Efforts to regulate bride price through legislation or national policies have tended to remain poorly implemented, or when implemented, contested. The most notorious efforts to regulate bride prices were adopted during the Taraki government and contributed to the downfall of that government.


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