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Return to Book Page. The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships Slut in Guide offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton a The Slut in Guide guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.

Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family.

Slut in Guide and their partners will learn how to discuss Slut in Guide honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives. Paperbackpages. Slut in Guide July 23rd by Greenery Press first published To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

To ask other readers questions about The Ethical Slutplease sign up. Will this help me understand as an outsider? Or is it more suited to people who are already interested? Pierce Delahunt I think this book works great as an introduction for outsiders. I see the book's audience as primarily people who do not "get" polyamory but want to …more I think this book works great as an introduction for outsiders. I see the book's audience as primarily people who do not "get" polyamory but want to understand.

See 1 question about The Ethical Slut…. Lists with This Book. Aug 12, Teresa Jusino rated it liked it. Everything it talks about has to do with how to have effective and enriching relationships in all Slut in Guide forms. Own your feelings, Slut in Guide honest, be open about what you want, be willing to compromise, talk to each other, listen to each other I was particularly interested in what it had to say about owning one's feelings - that no one can make you feel anything.

That idea goes a long way in making strong emotions more manageable. Also, I really appreciate that it acknowledges those emotions. It doesn't say you shouldn't feel a strong, negative emotion, it says that what's important is how you act on the negative emotion, and how you let it affect the people you say you love.

Also, reading this definitely corrected certain assumptions about polyamory that I had. The key is, though, any relationship can work as long as everyone involved is clear about what they want, and honest about their intentions. I tend to bristle whenever anyone perports to have "the answer. Taking one kind of dogma and replacing it with another does not equal freedom to me. The only thing I believe means actual freedom is the ability to make a choice and allowing an environment where people don't feel ostracized for making one choice over another.

If someone chooses "vanilla sex" with one person for the rest of their life, they shouldn't be made to feel as though they are somehow lesser for being "less adventurous" or "repressed" any Slut in Guide than someone who chooses an open relationship should be called "promiscuous.

Parents always have a favorite. Parents always Slut in Guide one child or several Slut in Guide more than the others. This doesn't mean that they don't love the other children, but it does mean that they are loved differently.

They shouldn't love all their children the same. If what separates human beings from animals is the ability to make conscious choices, then we can't balk at the idea that there is one thing or one person we would choose over something or someone else. I mean, even the distinction between "primary" and "secondary" relationship illustrates that. I think the Slut in Guide problem for me with this book is that there was no real distinction made between emotional and sexual monogamy.

Monogamy is simply used as the all-encompassing opposite of polyamory. But as was illustrated in so many of the relationships used as examples in this book, very often people in a Slut in Guide love relationship have one person they are the most emotionally committed to - and not even Slut in Guide they are interested Seattle buddhist dating being "life partners" with, owning a house or having kids with - but two people who are committed to each other, and committed to a certain lifestyle together.

There's always a person we enjoy being with the most. It doesn't mean we don't love Slut in Guide enjoy being Slut in Guide our other friends, lovers, family, whatever Pretending that's not the case seems silly to me. View all 9 comments. Jan 30, Rita Brinkerhoff rated it liked it. Slut in Guide a good introduction to these concepts, though.

Interesting stuff like your hippie parent would tell you about, without having to listen to said parent talk. Before I write my review, I want to say something. I don't normally read psycho-babble self-help relationship-help type books. Maybe it's because I've Slut in Guide in therapy since I was a teen, maybe it's because I regularly read psychology and medical texts, maybe it's because I have an immediately visceral and negative reaction to the idea of trying to change another person.

This is probably due to the fact that people have been trying to "change" me for so long, convince me mental health issues are Before I write my review, I want to say something. This is probably due to the fact that people have been trying to "change" me for so long, convince me mental health issues are figmentss of my imagination; fallacies I can overcome by strength of will.

And too often, self-help books and relationship manuals rely on what I perceive Slut in Guide the negative perpetuation of the idea that one can improve serious Slut in Guide like depression, Slut in Guide, dissociative personality disorders, PTSD, and other serious mental health issues through "happy thoughts" and "positive thinking" and Slut in Guide energies" and other hoo-ha.

Most relationship "help" books also tend to tilt too far in one direction or the other: You can't change them, so accept them faults and all and love them as they are.

Both of Slut in Guide tactics are depressing and horrific and probably help attribute to the high divorce rate, as neither of those tactics are in any way conductive to honest communication. Which is why The Ethical Slut is so freaking awesome.

The authors are proponents of polyamory, or open relationships, that's true. But the basic tenants of communication and how to strengthen a core relationship, the little exercises for opening up the lines of discussion between a couple -- everything in this book is invaluable. I loved the concept of "agreements" rather than "rules" -- it's so easy for someone to say, "This is a rule," and we think of something strict and unbreakable and feel boxed in and itchy and, even if we often don't admit it, angry and wanting to break it.

Rules beg to be broken. But agreements sound Slut in Guide flexible, so easy and negotiable. As my husband pointed out when I discussed this with him, they have safety rules at his place of work and they get broken all the time which irritates the crap out of him, as a forklift driver.

But they also have employee agreements, which are re-negotiated every two years, with employee input. And I can see how that parallels so easily. Another thing the authors discussed was arguing -- obviously, all couples argue. We have to argue, it's how we hash out the difficult issues, paying bills and visiting inlaws and everything Slut in Guide and little that we disagree on.

The authors introduced two new concepts to me: I'd heard of scheduling Slut in Guide. I'm pretty sure that anyone married more than 3 years and definitely anyone with a kid has been introduced to the concept of scheduling sex.

At first it sounds weird, but then you get used to the idea, and then it makes perfect sense. There's still Slut in Guide sex, yeah, but there's also scheduled sex. Well, the authors discussed how scheduling fights and learning how to fight constructively -- First date then in El Mansura each person have uninterrupted time to Slut in Guide their feelings, practicing fighting over small issues using a timer, learning to walk away and calm down for 10 to 15 minutes when things got too heated -- can strengthen a relationship.

The concept of a win-win is brilliant, too. It's basically compromise, but I love how they phrased it, because we all go into an argument wanting Slut in Guide win. It's how we're wired -- we want to make our point and we want to win, and once we do, it'll be done because we've won, right? Except it's not done just because we've won, because somebody's lost and a Slut in Guide is never happy. They're Slut in Guide angry and mulling over their loss and what happened and one day that same damn argument will swell up and bite you in the ass, even though the winner thought it was over and done and behind them -- they won, so it was done, right?

That's where win-win, compromise, agreements come in. If everyone feels like they've won, then there Slut in Guide no losers and the argument is truly over.

It won't come back to bite anybody in the ass. But only Slut in Guide you've hashed out a compromise that's truly a win-win for everybody, something that everyone is happy with and can live with. And all these things seem so self-evident, so, "Well, duh, I knew that.

Because even though in some part of your brain you knew that and you totally understood how that worked, you couldn't quite figure out how to phrase it in just the right way. I swear, this book is a must have for everybody in a relationship or anybody who wants to be in a relationship. It doesn't matter if you're in a monogamous relationship, an open relationship, or curious about an open relationship.

It's great for anyone, seriously. View all 3 comments. Feb 19, Mk rated it it was ok Shelves: So I realize that I probably lose radical queer points for not being that into Hot woman pickup in Sweden book, but so goes it. Though it contains some practical tips for polyamory, the tone of much of it rubs me the wrong way.

The idea that sex solves everything is clearly oversimplified.

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The Ethical Slut has ratings and reviews. Teresa said: This book should've been called How To Be a Human Being.:) Everything it talks about. Finally, a guide to getting a reputation for being easy. some exceptional girls, there comes yet another milestone: when she is confidently declared to be a slut. Obviously, it is NOT cool to call someone else a slut. Unless, of course, you are referencing the Saturday Night Live bit starring Jane Curtin and.